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Managing expectations can help Texans through a divorce

The divorce process is never pleasant or easy. However, one mediator and mediation trainer says that by managing your expectations, you can get through it and go on with your life rather than becoming one of the "walking wounded." There are things that everyone needs to be prepared to expect during their divorce.

First, you can expect that you'll make mistakes, whether in parenting, dating or any number of areas. Rather than beating yourself up, just learn from them and move on.

Expect for things to move slowly. Cases are not resolved in an hour like they are on television. Any legal proceeding, including a divorce, can be slow and complex.

Expect to have a sense of failure. That happens whenever a relationship fails. People feel like they've wasted years of their life. They may also feel a loss of identity. The divorce process is filled with emotional ups and downs.

Anticipate that you will need a support system. While friends and relatives are great, they may focus on the short term. It's important to have good legal representatives, therapists and other professionals who can help you focus on the big picture.

Expect that you will continue to feel resentment for your estranged spouse. Divorce can exacerbate whatever negative feelings you already had. However, limit how much and when you share those feelings. It's particularly important if you have children not to share those feelings with them.

Expect that things will change, including possibly your standard of living. Property division occurs in nearly every divorce, so most people give up something. This is true whether yours is a high-asset divorce or not.

Even if you don't have kids, limit your venting to your therapy sessions. It does no good to yourself or anyone else to "hang out at the intersection of bitter and angry."

Texas family lawyers can often help divorcing clients manage their expectations by outlining the process for them and communicating with them regularly to let them know where things stand and what the next steps are. For people going through a divorce for the first time, experienced legal professionals can be an important source of support.

Source: Source: Huffington Post, "9 Things You Can Expect During Your Divorce," Elinor Robin, PhD, July 10, 2014

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