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Holiday planning after a divorce

When the holidays get closer, divorced parents often wonder what the best plans are for the children. Do you and your ex simply plan one holiday get-together and let the kids open their Christmas presents? Is it better to have separate holiday celebrations in order to minimize the possibility of discord?

Some divorced couples want to hold onto the traditions of how the holiday used to be. One clinical psychologist, though, said those traditions will now change and it's best to find new traditions and ways to celebrate.

If there is a chance that you and your spouse will argue, it's best to have separate celebrations with the children. An argument can leave your children feeling stressed and create memories your children don't need.

Holiday plans should be made well in advance so that your ex isn't surprised at the last minute. In addition, talk about these plans with your children so they know where they will be going and who they will be with. Not knowing anything can leave them feeling stressed.

Let your children have some input into the holiday plans. This can help give them a sense of control -- which is very positive in the face of all the family changes.

Remember to reach out to family members or even a therapist is you are having a difficult time. This is not a sign of weakness, but a sign of strength.

Should you need to change your child custody orders regarding the holidays, an attorney can provide you with advice and guidance about a modification order.

Source: WebMD, "Holidays With Your Ex," Jen Uscher, accessed Dec. 07, 2015

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