All marriages go through rough patches, and those times can either make or break a relationship. Perhaps you have experienced difficult times with your spouse in the past, and you somehow pulled through. Nevertheless, with each difficult time, it may seem harder to reconnect with your spouse, and you may be wondering if the marriage may really be over this time.
Every marriage is different, and it is impossible to generalize meaningfully about complex relationships. But there are some common signs that many couples exhibit when their marriage is no longer healthy.
Is my marriage over?
You may not want to divorce, which is why you are having difficulty deciding if it’s the right thing to do. Some marriage experts suggest that considering divorce, even when you do not want to end the marriage, may be a sign that it is time to call it quits. Consider some of these indicators that have led many other couples to decide to break up:
- You and your spouse have tried everything you can to stay together, including reading books, attending seminars, consulting clergy or counselors, and going to therapy, but nothing improved your marriage.
- One of you is not willing to make necessary changes to save the marriage, such as dealing with addiction, infidelity, abuse or financial recklessness.
- You have lost respect for your spouse, or you feel your spouse has nothing but contempt for you, such as constantly criticizing, giving the cold shoulder or insulting in public.
- You can no longer muster feelings of gratitude or fond memories of the past with your spouse.
- You and your spouse no longer have the energy or passion to work for things that used to be important.
Many couples who are heading toward divorce may barely speak, let alone argue. If those daily disagreements you and your spouse used to share now go unspoken, it may be because you have grown too emotionally distant that you do not care to engage your spouse, even in conflict. What people on the outside may see as a peaceful marriage, you and your spouse may know as a cold and lonely existence.
A serious matter with long-term ramifications
Divorce is a serious matter with long-term consequences; it should be thought through very carefully, especially if you have children. You may have many questions about the next steps to take and how to preserve your rights going forward if you do decide to divorce. You can find the answers to those questions by seeking the counsel of a family law attorney who is very familiar with Texas divorce laws.