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Preparing to divorce when your partner is a narcissist

Divorce is especially difficult when you find yourself working against a narcissist. In child custody struggles, the other parent can make it extremely difficult to reach a final order that is fair and sustainable. Despite the challenges ahead, it is possible to pursue terms that will make sense for you and your kids for years to come. This is not a battle you have to fight alone.

The ultimate goal in any custody and visitation arrangement is to protect the best interests of the children above all else. A narcissist does not have that goal. He or she is primarily concerned with getting revenge or winning the battle. If you are facing this type of divorce, it's important to prepare now for what is ahead and develop a plan that will allow you to intentionally pursue a custody order that will provide security for your kids for years to come.

Identifying narcissism

You may not realize you are divorcing a narcissist until certain behaviors surface during your divorce. If your soon-to-be-ex-spouse is exhibiting any of the following, it could indicate you will be dealing with a narcissistic individual: 

  • Manipulation
  • Self-centeredness
  • Self-serving tendencies
  • Demanding behaviors
  • Arrogance 

This type of individual will be less focused on the needs of your children and more on what he or she wants. If you believe these types of behaviors could eventually cause harm to your children, it can be beneficial to start documenting interactions with the other parent.

Dealing with a narcissistic co-parent

If you are dealing with this type of person, there are certain things you can do to reduce drama and make divorce and co-parenting easier. One important step is to always take the high road. You may feel stressed and overwhelmed, and sometimes you may even feel anger, but this is rarely the best reaction. Remaining calm and refusing to respond in anger is best for you and less stressful for your children.

Divorcing and then co-parenting with a narcissist is not easy, but you do not have to walk through this process alone. You will find it beneficial to work with an experienced Texas family law attorney at every step. Your legal ally can help you advocate for your parental rights and the best interests of your children from the very beginning, fighting for a custody plan that makes sense.

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