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These 3 signs might mean you’re divorcing a narcissist

On Behalf of | Oct 26, 2020 | Divorce

Like most Texas married couples, you and your spouse have undoubtedly had ups and downs in your relationship. If you happen to be one of many spouses who ultimately have decided that the downs outweigh the ups, you might be considering filing or have already filed for divorce. While your goal might be to settle all pertinent issues as swiftly and peacefully as possible, if your spouse is a narcissist, accomplishing such goals might be more challenging than you’d expect.

A person with a narcissistic personality disorder can cause a lot of problems in all aspects of his or her life, especially in a marriage or other close relationship. If you’ve been blaming yourself for all that went wrong in your marriage, it might be a sign that you’ve been married to a narcissist. A narcissist will not only cause problems in a marriage and blame others for it, but he or she is also likely to cause problems during the divorce process.

Has your spouse always been different in public than in private?

It can be especially frustrating to be married to a narcissist because often people do not see the same types of behavior in your spouse that you see in private. A narcissist typically acts differently in public than he or she does when behind closed doors. 

This can pose a significant challenge in a courtroom. It’s one of many reasons you’ll want to be able to recognize ahead of time that you’re dealing with a narcissist so that you can develop strategies on how to counteract his or her passive-aggressive attacks in court. 

Narcissists are masters of control

Whether you’ve been married for decades or less than 10 years, if you’re married to a narcissist, you have no doubt noticed that he or she feels a strong need to always be in control of people and situations. Your spouse might even try to manipulate or gain control by portraying you as the person who always wants things his or her way. 

Narcissists often have sudden and drastic mood swings

Looking back on the time you’ve spent married to your narcissistic spouse, you can no doubt recall many instances where his or her mood suddenly changed from treating you kindly or affectionately to raging with anger or demeaning you in some way. It is a common behavior among narcissists, who use the moods to obtain a desired outcome. 

Your spouse might be experienced at knowing how to treat you to get what he or she wants. You’ll want to keep this in mind, especially if you are litigating child custody, alimony or property division proceedings. 

You don’t have to go it alone in divorce

Divorce is never easy, even when the two spouses in question are operating on amicable terms. If you’re divorcing a narcissist, it’s all the more reason to build a strong network of support from the start.

A licensed counselor is a great asset for those who are recovering from the emotional trauma of being married to a narcissist. You can also reach out for legal support so that you don’t have to advocate on your own behalf in court.