It’s back-to-school time, and every parent knows how expensive this season of the year can become. There are notebooks, backpacks, new clothes and shoes, plus things like technology fees, club dues, sports equipment, band rentals, uniforms and field trips to be paid for – and none of those are part of the ordinary expenses that child support covers.
How can co-parents divide the costs without letting the entire issue become a source of conflict? Many parenting plans are largely silent about this issue, but you can often prevent a lot of battles with clear communication and established expectations. Here are some tips:
Separate necessary expenses from optional ones
Not every school expense is a necessity. While both parents should assist with the costs of required supplies and fees, optional items – such as field trips, sports-related expenses and many personal items – may require a little negotiation.
Before either parent agrees to foot the bill for an expensive optional activity, designer sneakers or a fancy new computer, they should consult with the other and get their agreement. That avoids situations where one parent makes a decision that financially commits the other without their permission. It can also help to set a budget for things like clothing and shoes before shopping even starts. That can help manage the child’s expectations, too.
Recognize that “fair” does not always mean “equal”
A 50-50 split when it comes to school expenses may seem simple enough, but it can also be unfair if you and your co-parent have vastly different incomes.
You can divide school expenses with your co-parent according to your individual percentage of shared income. That way, neither parent has to struggle to meet their obligations. Or, one parent may assume responsibility for the high-ticket items, like clothes, shoes and electronics, while the parent with less income covers bookbags and other supplies. As long as the plan is realistic, that should avoid trouble.
Have a system in place for shopping
You don’t want battles over duplicate shopping trips. Decide in advance who will shop for what items and how the other party will reimburse them. Make it as simple as possible, and keep receipts. A shared spreadsheet, parenting app or even a dedicated text message thread can help keep track.
If school expenses repeatedly cause conflicts with your co-parent, it may be time to revisit the parenting plan. Issues like these often get overlooked when the initial plan is developed, but they can be included in revisions. A skilled family law attorney can help you learn more.
