It is not unusual for one parent to be happier with a court’s custody decision than the other parent. If you could not agree on custody, a judge will have done what they saw fit based on the limited information they had about you and your child.
Do not expect things to work out perfectly straight away. It is a new experiment for all of you and combined with the other changes divorce brings, you need to allow time to see how it all pans out.
Here are some things you can do to raise the chances of co-parenting success:
- Be understanding rather than jumping to conclusions: Week three and your co-parent is late for the handover yet again. You could assume they are doing it on purpose to make you late for work. Or you could give them the benefit of the doubt and accept that they may not have come to terms with the traffic on the route from their new home yet.
- Ask the right questions: Not “Why the hell are you late again?” but, “Do you want to move the handover time or place to make it easier?”
- Admit when it is not working out: Judges will not have an issue with parents who alter the custody plan by mutual accord. Think of it as a set of guidelines rather than commandments. Take care to put things in writing if there is any prospect your co-parent could try to claim you broke the agreement.
Working things out between you is preferable if possible, as you know yourselves better than any judge ever could. That applies to the initial custody agreement and anything you need to adjust later. If, however, that is not possible, your only choice may be to seek a modification of custody.
