Each parent has their own style. When you live together as a married couple, you likely compromise your true styles for compatibility with each other. Yet when you divorce, there is less pressure to do so.
Does that mean you can now parent exactly how you want with complete disregard for the other parent’s style? Of course not.
You still need to parent together
Co-parenting, as the name suggests, is a team effort. You can certainly gain more freedom to parent in your house in the style you prefer, but if your styles are polar opposites, your child will be confused. Besides, some parental decisions need to be taken together.
How much freedom do you have?
Kids adapt to differences between places pretty well. For example, they know they can talk and behave one way when hanging out with their buddies at the skatepark but instantly switch when they get back home and switch again when they go to Grandma’s.
It’s the contradictory differences that matter. For example, your co-parent says they need to be home straight from school to do their homework and can only go out on weekends to the skatepark. You, on the other hand, feel it is up to them when they do their homework and if they can balance having fun with their friends every night with keeping on track at school, then good for them.
These sorts of differences need discussing. Otherwise, the parent whose views the child least agrees with may find their kids no longer want to come and stay. It could lead to further problems if that parent accuses the other of failing to uphold the custody schedule.
