Going through a divorce is challenging for everyone involved. If you share children with your ex, you’re going to have to determine how to handle your custody arrangements. Many parents opt to follow the co-parenting model because it enables them both to be active participants in their child’s life.
If you have to work together as co-parents, things may be rather stressful sometimes. You can take proactive steps to try to keep the peace in this situation.
Establish clear boundaries
Set boundaries between you and your ex to minimize misunderstandings and conflicts. Communicate openly about your expectations and roles in co-parenting, making sure both parties are on the same page. When you go over your boundaries, be sure to discuss how you will conduct yourselves at events involving your children. It may also behoove you to talk about dispute resolution so you have a plan for working things out when you can’t agree.
Create a parenting plan
Work together to develop a detailed parenting plan that outlines schedules, responsibilities and decision-making processes. This will help ensure a more harmonious co-parenting relationship and it will help to provide the children with stability as they adjust to their new life at two different homes.
Improve communication
Focus on open and honest communication with your ex. Keep conversations centered on your child, and practice active listening to show respect for each other’s opinions. Always speak directly to each other. Trying to pass messages through children is a recipe for disaster.
Be flexible
Be open to changes and adjustments in your co-parenting plan as needed. This could mean schedule adjustments or changing house rules so they can remain consistent between both homes. Both parents should be flexible, so ensure that the situation never starts to skew toward only one parent always facilitating the needs of the other parent and never receiving the same respect.
Ultimately, your goal should always be to put your child’s best interests first. By seeing their parents get along, they may feel more secure, which can make it easier for them to adjust to the new way of life. Having a solid parenting plan is one of the best things you can do to make this happen for them.