Going through a divorce can be a challenging process, particularly if you have children involved. Once you decide that the divorce is going to happen, you have to tell your kids. It’s crucial that you do this in a way that reduces the stress the children may feel because of the situation.
One of the most important considerations is having this conversation at the right time. This should be during a calm period that provides the children with time to process the news of the major life change. It should also occur when the child isn’t going through a stressful situation, such as final exams.
Present a united parenting front
If it’s possible both parents should speak to the children together. Having everyone present can show that the adults are willing and able to work as a team. This can also help to prevent mixed messages or conflicting information.
Reassure them about what stays the same
Divorce can make children feel like their entire world is changing. Reinforcing what will stay the same—like routines, school, friendships, and the love and support from both parents—can help ease their fears. Children need to know that while their family structure is changing, they are not losing their parents.
It may be beneficial to have the basic parenting agreement in place before speaking to the children so you can provide them with accurate information. This is likely possible if you and your ex can work as a team to get the terms set. Working with someone familiar with these matters may also help.
